In 2050, our future self will look back at this time and understand how and why the world somersaulted into a new age. Just now, as we tumble around, trying to figure it out, it can be challenging to find solid ground. Scanning news headlines of economic gloom, incomprehensible wars, and the rapid changes to our climate make us feel powerless and fearful of the future. The easy option is to hide, to make ourselves small and hope this chaos will pass. Yet, that option is not one I’d recommend. Life is precious and a life should be lived well—even in this uncertain world that we are living in. More than ever, this is the time to find our purpose in life and embrace the journey we are on, so we are not rocked by world events.
It feels like this level of uncertainty began with the dawning of 2025. Those better informed than me say the rumblings began in the 1980s, becoming more visible in the financial crash of 2008 and during Brexit. But what is happening today definitely has its roots in the COVID years. We were all changed during this time, and the world order shifted. Five years on, AI, robotics and algorithms are powerfully changing how we work and live. And in the meantime, discerning what is real or fake across all forms of media is increasingly difficult.
Yet deep inside, we still have an innate ability to discern the truth. It’s a survival skill that we are blessed with. We need to tap back into what we instinctively know to be right—not just for ourselves, but also for the world around us. This intuitive knowing of what is right, can become a guiding light.
As we ground ourselves and rediscover our purpose, we will flourish, and in subtle ways, begin to change the world, too.
THREE WAYS TO BECOME MORE GROUNDED
No.1 Actively De-stress
Before our mind has registered that we are stressed, our body has already responded. Our breathing has become shallow and our heart rate has quickened. Increased levels of adrenaline and cortisol course through our body, and more blood flows into our limbs. At the same time, the part of the brain, which consciously thinks-things-through is side-lined, while, the subconscious initiates instant reactions and learnt emotional behaviour to help us cope.
These changes are part of the fight or flight response. From the dawn of time, these responses evolved to keep us safe from ferocious wild animals. Today, even though our fears and stress are far more likely to be about our close relationships, issues at work or from the bombardment of terrible news from around the globe, our body’s response is still the same.
So, how stressed are you today? Check by assessing your stress right now by scoring it out of ten. Perhaps it is higher than expected because it has almost become a norm. Even a score of five might indicate a low-level and always switched on (chronic) stress.
Our stress response is subconsciously initiated, but there is one strand of it that we can control. Breathing. Try this. Take five deep, slow breaths, breathing in through the nose, holding it for a second, then breathing out through the mouth. After one final, deep breath, check your stress level out of ten. Has the needle moved to a lower score?
When the stress response is activated, our thinking mind goes partially offline. This is because subconscious processing is more than a million times faster than our ability to consciously consider what is happening. Deep breathing tells the subconscious that the danger has passed. And with that, the stress response is halted, or at the very least, significantly lessened. Now clearer thinking is possible.
Make a new habit to consciously breathe for a few minutes each day. Anchor it to something you already do—for example, after brushing your teeth, or after lunch, or when you arrive home after work. Any new habit needs reminders, otherwise it will be quickly forgotten about. When I want new behaviour to stick, I use a 100-day tick chart. In reality, it rarely takes 100-days. Typically, it becomes part of my new routine between day 45–60. To give this method a try, download a free copy of this 100-Day Tick Chart here.
No.2 List your top ten values
What values matter—really matter—to you? Values are behaviours and ways of being that are innate to you, and the qualities you admire in others. When we witness diametrically opposed values, it riles, upsets or even frustrates us. For example, if politeness is important, then people being rude, ill-mannered or discourteous will, most likely, be irritating or worse.
Top of my values list is generosity, especially of spirit. You too may share this value—it is pretty universal, but let me share with you how it can clash when someone has an equally strong but different value.
A friend from Oxfordshire highly values fairness. Occasionally, she visits me on Portland and nearly always, on the first night, we go out for dinner. When it’s time to pay the bill, I offer to pay as a thank you for coming to see me. But my friend feels this is unfair. She suggests we split the bill calculating her steak, red wine and coffee were more expensive than my meal. This is true, yet I value her friendship and the time we spent chatting more than the cost of the meal. So, in the past, I would suggest we split the bill in half. Now, I smile and accept her kind offer, because it matters to her, and this is not a big issue. Imagine though this was a frequent occurrence, then we might need a different solution.
In the news and our social media feeds, there is a lot of persuasive commentary about what we should or shouldn’t do and believe or not believe. There are heated arguments on current hot topics such as free speech, gender bias and the impact of climate change. To stay on solid ground, we need to actively decide what our values are, because we need our truth to know whether what is being said is right or whether we are being hoodwinked or manipulated.
Create a values list by identifying ten behaviours/qualities that are important to you. Let these become your guiding light. Now they are in black and white, do you stand-by them? How do you feel when others have different values to yours? Is this response the same if it is a friend or a person of influence? If no, be curious as to why. We all have a different mix of values and some carry more weight than others. If a behaviour matters to you and you have examined the circumstances in which it applies, this will help you stay strong in who you are.
No. 3. Discover and define your purpose
Some people know their life purpose and the direction they wish to travel from an early age. It may have shown up as a career path choice, a vocation or a way of life that mattered to them.
Most of us have multiple purposes that can cause inner conflict. Like wanting to be a great dad and a top surgeon. On this path, there will be a time, perhaps multiple times, when a life-saving surgery clashs with an important event for the child. These times are not easy to navigate, but it doesn’t mean that either purpose should be dropped.
A purpose doesn’t need to be grandiose. If it is important to you, then be proud of your choice. In Stephen Covey’s old book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People he asks us to imagine what family members, friends and work colleagues could say at our funeral—assuming that we had lived our lives to the full. He argues that we would want them to talk about who we were and what we did—in other words what our life purpose was and how we fulfilled it. Covey believed that if we identified our purpose today, we could begin to live it, and that’s how we would be remembered.
My clients, asked to consider their life purpose, have found it challenging. The end destination often appears too far away to action today. Or they can’t see how to change the path they are on, or there are obstacles of time, money, or a lack of qualifications. So, for now, put aside any thoughts that it’s hard, and instead play with ideas of what your purpose/purposes could be.
Begin this playing by scribbling down ideas. Start with the easy ones like being a good parent, a good son/daughter/ friend and so on. Then move on to your purpose for the work you do—and ‘work’ can be the voluntary or unpaid jobs that you do. Then consider your passions. Do you have a purpose beyond simply an interest? What about politics, the environment, religion, social clubs or movements? What is your purpose within these? See the smaller opportunities as well as the bigger ones.
Early every Sunday morning, a local, elderly lady takes fresh flowers to her church before the service begins. She displays them in a vase on the table, making the small church look more welcoming. For a few minutes before the rest of the congregation arrives, she is looks at the flowers and feels a connection to the magnificence of nature and to God. Some people might dismiss this small act as not being a life purpose, but I think it is.I hope that these three small exercises have helped you. Being grounded and able to think clearly is greatly needed as we transition into this new age.
